Smirk: The Player’s Plight

I’ve been getting some really steady action lately, the holiday season’s bring out the worst in girl’s emotions, and I’m definitely happy to take advantage of it.

This is another girl I met through OKCupid.  This site is such a fucking goldmine, I have met and banged so many girls through it, it’s not even fair.  We chatted over txt for a long time because she had a lot of family obligations until January.

We finally make plans to meet up this past Wednesday at a bar by my house.  She’s a young girl (22), 9 years younger than me, which I prefer.  There’s just a certain looseness and fun vibe that young woman have and woman in their 30′s don’t.

We get a couple of drinks, and I’m following the standard David De’Angelo “Be Interesting and Interested”.  If a girl is out with a guy alone, that means that all you have to do is stay out of your way and something will happen.  No need to be super cute, or clever, or awesome.  Just be a cool, laid back guy.

I start dropping some seeds to get back to my place by talking about movies.  It’s just the perfect suggestion, it’s innocuous and women inherently know what’s going to go down by coming over.

We get to my place and I’m feeling no resistance.  We get in my bed to watch the movie “because the TV in the living room doesn’t work.”  And a few minutes in, I start making my moves.

Unfortunately, I hit a major, major roadblock – this girl does not want to kiss.  At all.  She’s really against it for some reason.  It throws me for a loop.  I think, “I should just freeze her out then go back in.”  So I back off for a bit, but she’s not necessarily reengaging.  Well, we haven’t exactly done anything yet, so it makes sense why she won’t reengage.  So, I go in again for the kiss, and I’m rejected again.

This is really throwing me off my game.  In retrospect, I know exactly what was going on.  Something happened to this girl, or she has a strange belief system, that kissing is “the highest form of intimacy” and she won’t kiss easily but she may fuck easily.  My problem is that I had a certain routine I go through, and making out and kissing is the first step to knowing if she wants to hook up.

Validation seeking monster turns up it’s ugly head again.  The key to being a seducer is following the paths of least resistance.  If she doesn’t want to kiss me, then fine, I’ll just grab her pussy or put her hand on my dick.  But, in the moment it’s hard to think, “well she won’t kiss, so let me grab her pussy.”

At heart I’m still a nice guy, and those are the things outside of a nice guy’s reality, but players push and push making things happen.

We hang out for awhile, and I’m still trying to figure out ways to kiss her, which never happens.  She ends up leaving, and I know that’s it, I know I’ll never see her again.

This is the Player’s Plight.

I can’t remember how things used to happen.  I can’t remember how I would hang out with a girl and kiss her one day, make out the next, and then fuck on another.  Now that I’ve gotten to the point where I consistently have sex with a girl on the first date, if I don’t push it, things are over.

In the community it’s called “Buyer’s Remorse.”  If a girl is in your house, in your bed, basically putting herself out there for you, and you don’t go as far as you can go (in which I mean either oral sex or sex, or wherever her true stopping point is but is) then you will never, ever see her again.

Emotionally, a woman is putting herself out there to have sex, saying “it is your job to get this from me,” and if I am incapable of getting it then I am deemed unworthy.  Actually, it’s more like, from the woman’s perspective, “I put myself out there, and he didn’t want it, am I a slut?  Oh my god, I must be a slut.  I can’t see this guy again.”

It’s kind of tragic, because from my perspective I’m just trying to be respectful and understanding to her resistance.

Lesson learned.  When you have a girl one-on-one then either totally don’t go for it or totally go for it.  Don’t play the middle ground and don’t look for approval or validation.  Period.

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