by Neil Strauss (aka Style)
by Mystery
by David DeidaAlright, I’m gonna make a really really shameful admission on my blog. Thankfully I have the convenience of complete anonymity since no one in my personal life knows about this blog and my small steady following of readers are incredibly cool and understanding.
I totally suck in bed.
Oh man, I said it, and you know what, it feels good.
Unlike the perpetual uber-man Pickup Dude mythology, just because I get regular sex that doesn’t mean that I’m good at it. Weirdly, the better I’ve gotten at getting sex the worse I’ve become.
With my first girlfriend, who I lost my virginity to, I would be able to fuck that girl for hours! I felt like a superman. I fucked her 11 times in a day once. It got to the point that I struggled to pop with her. I would have to think of other girls or watch pornos to be able to jizz.
After I broke up with her I went probably 3 years before I had sex again.
Yes… 3 years. How’s that for justifying a reason to learn pickup?
Anyway, the next girl was this really cute Nicaraguan girl with a really really sleek little body. I met her at my job at the bookstore after reading David De’Angelo’s Double Your Dating. We went out a couple of times for drinks, I was still dating back then, and eventually got her over to my place because my car had broken down and I told her to bring me some food.
We get some Miami Subs, which is a terrible idea because Miami Subs and stomachs mix incredibly badly. Eventually we get naked and we’re gonna get down and dirty. She climbs ontop of me, slides in the salami, and out of nowhere just starts going CRAZY and riding me as if we had just burst out the gate at the Kentucky Derby.
Because I was sexually inexperienced and had some sexual shyness, I didn’t know what to do. It was like taming a wild beast after living a life in total seclusion away from all animals.
I popped in 5 seconds.
She came over again a couple of days later and I popped again in 5 seconds.
I never called her again after that. I was so incredibly ashamed of what happened. It was terrible. Couple that with the fact that I had some severe sexual issues from being raised by a feminist and sex became something that I feared.
Well, thankfully I dealt with the shame and my guilt over sex issues, but I still have been a pretty bad fuck. Even with my exgirlfriend, who I dated for a year and a half, would sometimes complain about how fast I would jizz.
I’ve compensated by developeding really strong oral sex skills and I take my time in foreplay and postplay, so that when it gets down to business at least the girl is satisfied in one way or another.
I have been totally resolute to solve this. I’ve been practicing keegle exercises, breathing techniques, getting comfortable, taking my time, etc., etc.
On Wednesday last week I had sex with Jailbait for the first time and I fucked the shit out of her! Nothing crazy and it’s not like I felt like I was a porn actor or something, but the main thing was that I did a lot of little things to delay orgasming.
Whenever I would hit that moment that I would feel like I was about to bust, I would pull out and either change positions or I would go down on her. I did a lot of things like changing my pace and taking my time. Before that was something I would feel that I was doing, like rushing to cum. And it takes A LOT of internal strength to fend it off.
One mistake that I used to make a lot was that if I felt like I was about to pop I would stop fucking but stay inside but would ejaculate anyway. But I realized that pulling out and letting my body calm down for a second is much much better.
I also want to give credit to the guys over at the South Florida lair. There was a forum post that had a lot of discussion, where a guy had asked for advice on his problem with PE and there were a lot of good tips. As much as I may chastise the front game aspect of the seduction community, the other parts I appreciate greatly. How to please a woman, how to handle a relationship, female psychology, male empowerment, etc. That stuff I love and I think is life changing.
Also, I really hope that now that I’m learning how to deal with this better it will stop negatively affecting my game. I wish I could be not attached to the concept of being a good fuck and be totally accepting of myself (I’d say I’ve been 90% accepting of having PE) but the fact is that there is that tiny little bit of doubt in the back of my head that I really can please a woman in the bedroom, which undermines my game at times.
Filed under: Lay Report, Lex's Journal | Tagged: being bad in bed, boys being raised by feminists, dating, dealing with PE, getting better at sex, Jailbait, oral sex, pickup, pickup mythology, Premature Ejaculation, PUA, Relationships, seduction, Seduction Community, sex, sexual guilt, sexual issues undermining game, sexual shame, shame over sex, South Florida Lair
This is great news man. Congrats! It takes a lot to admit a problem but even more to go to the ends that you did to try to fix it. Looks like you’re well on your way.
What’s cool about it is that your experience and knowledge will help you grow as a better sexual partner. When it comes to sex, there are truly naturals and those that need to learn some.
But it looks like your good and don’t let it undermine your game. Your still solid and if your front game is solid enough, and your sex game is solid all the way til the actual intercourse, you’ll still be much better than a lot of other people out there.
Once you get it down, it’ll be amazing, and you won’t have to worry about anything.
This could get really interesting for you.
Thanks Infinity.
It was certainly a nagging issue. It’s funny too, because I knew it is just a matter of patience but didn’t quite know how to go about it.
Sometimes you just have to be thankful of the things that the community can give you.
Lex
Have you checked out any of David Shade’s stuff? I realize that it won’t help with PE but she’s one who’s really having fun after all.
Actually, I have David Shade’s manual and also Daniel Rose’s book Sex God Method, which are both very good. But yeah, you are right, neither one really deal with PE.
Weirdly, the books that REALLY helped me (even though I lost it) was in The Way of the Superior Man and Wild Nights by David Deida.
And yeah, I work hard to get a girl to orgasm and I keep things positive, light, fun, and happy, so it is rarely a negative experience. Also, I gotta admit, I seriously go down better than any guy on the planet. That’s a skill every guy should develop.