The Psycho!

I have to give credit to Lacy of Lacy Laplante’s Pole Dancing Playground for giving me the idea to write down some of my older gaming stories.  Let me preface with this, a lot of these stories come from when I first was learning game, and still wasn’t that good.  The women that I was meeting were typically fat girls, Low Self-Esteem girls, or girls I’d met through match.com or through myspace, etc.  My game was totally weak, and I was so desperate for them to like me, and have sex with me; it was truly pathetic.  But a lot of what happened was really funny looking back at it.  So enjoy!

This was probably my first, “I’m the fucking man” pickup.  You know, those pickups that happen every now and then where everything just goes your exact way, and the girl is your bitch and she knows it.  It’s moments like these that are the EXACT opposite of being an AFC.  If empowerment could be pushed through Virtual Reality it would look something like this.

For two years I was working in a bookstore cafe.  It was so beneficial to grow my game.  Working in a situation like that gives a captive audience.  “Oh, latte ma’am?  Sure.  So where you from?”  Actually, where you from is such a gay way to start conversation, usually I would notice a book or magazine they had with them and riff off that.  Good conversation on a subject that she’s interested in (and that conveys having knowledge on a subject or at least letting her talk about something she cares about) and humor is so much more effective then asking them something about themselves.

Up walks this brunette cutie who has a book about “understanding gifted children”, which I was.  I’m being really cocky with her, and saying, “oh no, you’re not getting in my head, as much as you’ll try.”  Stuff that I always use now, but back then would sometimes happen accidentally.  I was probably just in a good mood that night.

She tells me that she’s preparing a report for her principal or something like that.  At the time I was doing some graphic design and web design on the side, so I offered my help.  Throughout my shift I would sit down, work with her a little bit, go back to work and what not.  I’m being really funny with her, and we’re also enjoying some good conversation, because she’s somewhat smart herself. 

As my store is closing down she’s still working on her project, so I suggest we go to another bookstore to work on it some more.  After I get out of work we head over to a Barnes & Nobles up the street that’s open for another hour.  I’m being really flirtatious with this girl and just fucking with her.  She’s loving it.  Calling me a brat, smacking my arm, etc.  It’s funny how that kind of behavior means that she’s really into you.

Eventually that bookstore has to close down as well.  Oh my… what should we do?  Oh yes, that’s right, “hey, why don’t we head over to my place.  You can finish your report there.”  She starts saying her obligatory girly nonsense, “oh, but only to work on my report, don’t get the wrong idea”, and I just brush it off.

We get to my place and it’s on!  We’re on my bed, I’m feeling her up, things are going pretty well.  I start to take her shirt off, and then whammo!  ASD.  Fuck!  That’s alright, I can tell this girl is way into me.   Also, I wasn’t as secure or patient as I am now, where I know the importance of stepping back to appreciate the situation.  She hangs out for a while making out, we take little cat naps, and she eventually leaves in the middle of the night.

In a very Seinfeldish moment, I even start to question the beauty of this chick.  There’s a problem that I come across again and again and again with guys in the community, as well as something that I used to feel.  This idea of needing only super hot, ultra beautiful women.  The irony is that this girl was an 8 looks wise.  But she didn’t really work out at all, and so her body was… soft?  I know that sounds weird, because chicks are soft, its part of their appeal.  It was faulty inner game.  So many guys look for flaws, or think that they should only be fucking the most mega, super hot women in the world.  Now, I just ask myself if I’m enjoying myself or having fun?  I broke things off with BloodyMary because she wasn’t enjoyable to be around.  She was extremely cute, and I very much liked her body, but she was a downer, and didn’t hold a good deal of qualities that I like in a woman.  But with ThePsycho it was just a total lack of confidence for hooking up with a good looking chick.  Trust me, I learned from that mistake.

A couple of days later she stops by my job and we’re having a makeout session in the parking lot, and make plans to get together a couple of days later.  I felt like this girl was getting really into me, but it felt very weird.  I mean, I’m all down for fun, but she’s talking about how she’s cutting it off with all the other guys that she’s seeing, and that she feels like she’s known me for a really long time.  Ugh.  Weird and needy.

We made plans to get together 3 or 4 later so that she can come over and “watch a DVD”, which translates to chick speak for “I want you to fuck me”. 

It gets to the day that we’re supposed to hang out, and something really important came up with a band that I was working with.  No biggie.  I call her to cancel.  “What do you mean you can’t see me tonight?  This is supposed to be our night.”

“What?” I respond.

“See, I knew this would happen, I knew this would happen, this is what always happens, I’m so stupid…” BLAH!

I’m pretty dumbfounded.  I have zero experience of girls going crazy on me.  I was probably 3 or 4 months into learning game, so for a girl to get so upset because I wasn’t going to fuck her completely caught me off guard.  But more then that, the girl seemed like a fucking psycho!  (I’m writing this and it’s funny what I know now, because I could’ve handled this so well now).

“What the fuck is your problem?  Jesus, you’re fucking crazy.”  I tell her, a touch of frustration in my voice, and then hang up.

A week later she shows up at my store and acts like there’s nothing wrong.  Cool.  She’s not crazy, thank god for that.  Especially since she knows where I was working.

Nothing that exciting, until she leaves, and I go to pick up the books she left behind.  All these man hating books, like “Men are the Devil”, “Your vagina is your weapon”, “Fuck him before he fucks you”.  Well, not exactly, but you get the point.  Maybe I wasn’t quite off the mark?