Drunken Maniac Game

Confidence.  Jesus confidence is such an amazing thing.  You know you hear things like, “you should never expect to always be happy” or “it is rational for everyone to have ups and downs”, and I completely believe in that.  It’s just that it’s been such a long time since I’ve felt “depressed”.  The only time recently that I’ve felt really bad about anything is my constant dealings with my ex-girlfriend, but that’s such a heavy situation.

Nonetheless, I just feel good.  Even if I don’t feel good, I still feel good.  It’s so hard to explain.  I just don’t get mad or randomly pissed off.  At least not to the point where it throws me off my balance.  I don’t get it.  But there’s so many things that I’ve changed about myself in the last 3 or 4 months, that it’s not surprising.  Again, Nonattachment, Process Orientation over Outcome Orientation, Not caring about people’s thoughts, be social, etc, has improved my life happiness so much lately, it’s hard to believe.  Also, I’ve been excercising for the last 3 or 4 weeks straight, which always helps me feel much better about life as well.

That’s the general shit.

Specifically I went out with a friend of mine to this bar in Coral Gables called City Cellar.  It’s a cool little place, and his girlfriend is a bartender there.  Bartender girlfriend means everyone drinks for free.  I don’t know how much I drank, but I know that I was incredibly drunk at one point.  HAHA.

More then anything, I walked into that place like I owned it.  I just was being a maniac, and it was great.  I was being really playful with everyone.  I will admit that I was being a bit of an asshole, which is fine because I do have that side to myself, and I will try to be mindful if I was doing it in a way that wasn’t congruent to myself and I had an agenda behind it.

So there were these two girls.  One I was completely not interested in physically at all, the other I thought was really cute (tall and skinny, my second favorite body type), but engaged.  I was just being fun and assholish to them.  Telling them I hated them, busting their balls, and generally having a good time.

By the end of the night, I had the tall, skinny one doing things for me, getting my drinks and acting like my pretend girlfriend.  If she would fuck up, I would just be like, “that’s it you’re fired!  You are the suckiest girlfriend ever.”  She was eatting it up.  I’d never pulled the “bar girlfriend” schtick before, but this chick was into it.

Another realization that I’ve had lately about routines and different schtick is that it’s not that I avoid using it, I just am not forcing it.  It reminds me of another field report that I wrote (http://miamilexicon.wordpress.com/2007/09/03/lexs-fr-miscalibrated-all-night-sad-face/) where I was miscalibrated and had a terrible night.  But it really wasn’t that I was miscalibrated, I just was forcing what I thought had “worked”, which was micropenis and vomit jokes.  Don’t get me wrong, that stuff is HILARIOUS, and often I will use it if the feeling arises from it, but FORCING anything is awful.

If anything it’s just that I have a wide vocabulary now of little games that I can play when I’m talking to a girl.  I can’t even list them out, which is great.  But 5 questions game, micropenis, girlfriend, compliance tests, congruency, palm reading, nerdypants, etc, etc, etc.  They’re all just funny shit.  That’s it, they’re just funny things to do to entertain yourself.

But whatever, really I just had a great time.  I was being over the top sexual, amusing myself, and having a generally good time.  I think my latest favorite phase is “Flicking The Bean” to talk about a girl masturbating.  Credit to Jeffy from RSD.

Things to work on though, is just generally swinging a little back into “game” and approaching, etc.  I have avoided it for such a long time now, that it is officially out of my system.  Which is great.  I’ve been going around the internet lately and reading non-guru pickup blogs.  There are some really great things out there.  There is a lot to learn from reading information from guys who are being honest and struggling with learning game and improving their social skills.  One guy I just read about has been in the game for probably 3 years and he’s still as confused as ever.  His vocabulary is so wrought with pickup terms, and odd little things.  I really enjoyed reading what he had to say, but you could tell he was still lost.  He wrote about “affirmations”, “chakras”, “yoga”, etc, etc.  And trust me, it is ALL really cool stuff, and probably the guy benefits from it.

Here’s the problem… HE’S USING IT TO MEET GIRLS.  God, it is just such a fucked up mentality.  I don’t mean to criticize the guy, because at least he’s working at something, and trying things out.  That is the best thing anyone can do.  At least he’s putting in an effort.  And again, being genuinely interested in cool things, is great.

But… MEETING WOMEN IS NOT MAGIC!  You don’t have to shoot rainbows out of your ass.  You don’t have to be the most “alpha” guy in the world.  You don’t have to know magic, or tricks, or reading palms or whatever.  It is so basic, but just be yourself.  And being yourself assuming that you live your life by what you want and who you are and who you want to be.  In essence, living for your wants with no fear.  This has been such a realization lately.

Wow, how’s that for a tangent?  Well, take that fuckers.