Question: Lack of Attraction aka Limiting Belief Systems

Ah, my first Pickup Question.  Sweet.  Thank you Simon for commenting on my blog, I pulled out your question and decided to answer it in its own post, because this is a huge problem for a lot of guys: 

“… there are definite statistical correlations between Asians and being very low-key.  I’ll get to more of this in a second.”  (excerpt from Slowing It Down post)

Hi, I’m Asian and living in Australia, and I’ve found the same thing happening to me when I approach random chicks at a bar/pub/club. I realize that there are many things going against us Asians, primarily the fact that most of the girls there are Anglo-Saxon and therefore aren’t that attracted to Asians … but do you think there are ways to overcome this barrier and get those girls’ Interest Levels jumping, despite the fact that you’re Asian? (Of course, this is assuming the fact that the particular girl doesn’t mind Asians, that is)

Cheers,
Simon

First, just so you understand, I’m average height, Hispanic, slightly overweight, and I would never be considered a “good looking” guy.  That is just reality.  Never once that I’ve been “in field” have I been approached by a girl because I’m a good looking guy, but I have had girls approach me due to my actions, energy, and what I was doing.  In the PickUp Community PUAs really want to believe that looks don’t make a difference, and they do, but just not in the same way that most people believe.

Most guys to women are average looking.  Using the 1-10 attraction scale, if a guy dresses well, is clean cut, has style, and dresses well, he is a 7 to a woman.  There are some men out there that women consider 9’s and 10’s, but without game, these guys can’t meet women or get laid just like any guy without game.  It’s just that good looking guys have high value based solely on their looks, they don’t have to try that hard to get attraction because its already there based on their looks, but if they come off as needy, outcome oriented, validation seeking, uncomfortable, and not confident, then they are in the same spot as every other AFC.

Now, in terms of the “Anglo women are not attracted to Asians” that is just a Limiting Belief System on your behalf.  Australia has a population of 20 million (phew, that is tiny!), Sydney has almost 4.5 million people living there,  2.25 million being women, and just to be on the safe side 30% of those women are “fuckable”.  That means there are 750,000 women in Sydney that you can fuck.  If there aren’t 10,000 women out there who off the back find Asian guys somewhat attractive, I would be incredibly surprised.  (By the way, if you’re not living in Sydney, but instead a remote or smaller part of the country, then move to Sydney, immediately).

Again, though, that is not what game is about.  As a man, you should NEVER be waiting to find a woman who is “attracted to you”.  Then you’re supplicating to her.  You’re looking for a woman to validate you by “finding you attractive” or by “choosing” you.  That is the WORST attitude you could ever have for your game.  You are a MAN.  Women don’t choose you, you choose them.

As far as the quote that you referenced, Asian men are typically low key.  Nonex said that it may be genetic, I believe that it’s cultural, but whichever it is, the stereotype of the quiet Asian guy who keeps to himself is in full effect.  It is there for Challenge, even though you can tell that he is progressively getting over it.

There are a couple of very good resources out there for this situation, one being Carlos Xuma, who has several programs on increasing confidence.

This is a little off track, but I think it’s pertinent. 

This past weekend I went to a sports bar with a girl friend of mine to watch the Indianapolis Colts versus the New England Patriots.  It was a big deal for me.

I sit down at one of the tables with my friend, and at the table next to us were three really ghetto fat, black guys.  Gold teeth, dreads, baggy clothes, University of Miami football gear, etc.  I INSTANTLY wanted to be their friends. 

As much as Asian culture is oriented towards keeping quiet, keeping to yourself, etc., Black culture is WIDE OPEN.  These three guys were so loud, funny, obnoxious, and were the CENTER OF ATTENTION in the entire bar.  They completely didn’t give a flying fuck about anything, they were just having a really good time together, and of course I hopped on their coat tails and joined in the fun.

In the middle of this whole thing I turned to my friend, who knows I study PickUp and said, “This is EXACTLY how I want to be in field”.

Attraction is about your ATTITUDE to women, and has very very little to do with “how you look”.  If you show yourself as being a High Value man, who has a good time no matter where he goes, is confident, outgoing, and doesn’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks of him, that will attract women like crackheads to… well, crack.

Simon, there are a ton of resources out there for you to get over this issue of yours, and trust me, I can completely relate to it.  I still deal with it periodically, but definitely less and less, and with that the women that I’ve been having sex with and dating are progressively being of higher and higher quality.  If you look on the right side of my blog I have links to “Instructional Websites”, there you can find various sites that can help you in the PickUp world, if you’re not in it already.

Also, I really suggest that you read David Deida’s The Way of the Superior Man, it is excellent for understanding your role as a man, and also understanding a woman’s role in your universe.  What you have to understand is that a woman’s mind is not based in a logic center, it’s based in an emotional center.

I’ll give you a quintessential difference, and this has to do with your question.  Nonex is attracted to women with large hips.  It’s so bad that he could literally find a girl with severe physical retardation attractive if she has large hips.  It’s a joke, but it’s funny because it’s true.  As for women, how many times have you heard, “well, he’s not really my type, but we have A LOT OF FUN TOGETHER.“  And that’s what it comes down to, can you appeal to her emotional center.  If you can help her have fun, a good time, add value to her life, and make her feel good, then she is yours. 

Asian, retarded, fat, ugly, tall, short, midget, missing fingers, having a micropenis… IT DOESN’T MATTER.

Good luck Simon, I hope that I answered your question thoroughly.  Thanks for reading my blog.

Sincerely, 

LexIcon