Slowing it down

To babble or not to babble, that is the question… we’ll see at the end of this email, huh?

Ok, so I have really not had anything to write about.  There was a time when Nonex and I were going out 3 or 4 times a week, going out and sarging.  And every time I went out I got worse and worse at opening.  I got so much more attached to making sure something was going to happen and what not.  God, it is so fuckin’ gay.

This all culminated last Friday night when Nonex and I went to South Beach to meet up with our friend Challenge.  Challenge, who I’ve mentioned before is an uber-nice guy, hence the reason why he never ever gets laid.  Nonex and I were talking about it, and Challenge has a evolutionary disadvantage over other PUAs, he’s Asian.  I’m not one for stereotypes, and I’m not one to judge a person based on their skin color and what not, but as Nonex was making a case for, there are definite statistical correlations between Asians and being very low-key.  I’ll get to more of this in a second.

As for myself, I was really tired that night, and just not feeling it AT ALL.  I was completely off energy wise.  The straight up “walk up to a girl and approach” mentality has not been there at all lately, but it is so effective to pull the “walk up to the bar and say something over the shoulder” approach.  But even pulling that on Friday fell flat because my energy was so completely off.

Later on we met up with Sun, another international PUA living on South Beach, who is from Croatia.  I met Sun months ago at a workshop (where I also met Nonex) and the guy is just incredibly cool and nice.  I really like his energy, but he’s also really good with women.

Even though I didn’t really approach at all, and my energy was off all night, I still learned a lot from being around the guys and observing them.

Nonex is brilliant in his approach abilities.  He will literally try anything.  At one point we were talking, and Sun was talking about this one Guru who is developing ultra-direct openers, and told Nonex that one of the ones that the guy uses is, “Hey we should swap orgasims.”  Of course, Nonex being Nonex then turns to some girls behind us and tries it.  Un-fuckin’-believable.  I’m trying to convince him to start doing Inner Game workshops, I think he’s brilliant in that aspect.

But, of course, after the open everything unravels for him.  He has a couple limiting mentalities going for him right now.  First off, everything is linear.  Such as, “I open, touch her arm, I give comfort, touch her leg, and then I fuck her”.  And it just doesn’t work like that.  It’s all the underneath stuff that matters the most, all the subcommunication.  The second thing is that he believes that he can’t “talk to women” as well as saying, “I can’t relate to these girls, I need someone smart”, and that’s total and complete bullshit.  But its up to him to realize it, not me.

Sun I didn’t get to see in set at all, because he didn’t approach.  That’s the biggest thing I learned.  Approach.  Period.  By the way, he’s been in “The Community” since 1997, and is a SpeedSeduction guy!  I’ve never met anyone like this before.  Also, he’s really knowledgeable in Pickup so we talked a lot about different things.

Challenge, just like Nonex, is an approach monster.  Back to back to back to back, he doesn’t stop.  If anything, I felt bad because it was his last couple of days in Miami, and Nonex, Sun, and I weren’t approaching at all (Nonex started later on though, after Challenge started) and I felt like we were limiting him slightly.  But that’s not my problem, and still something I’m dealing with.

But just like with Nonex, Challenge may be able to approach, but then he gets in there, and it’s totally deflated.  His energy sinks down, he falls into normal conversation.  He just doesn’t cause that “sexual” attraction.  Something I’m trying to work on more.  First off, I don’t want to give off a friends vibe anymore, as well as (and this is a major revelation), the whole Lover versus Provider role.

But overall it was a bad night in the sense that I didn’t approach anything, except for that one set.  I also realized because I’m placing so much weight on Pickup that it’s becoming too important, and it’s not important at all.  I’m rolling back and doing my own things more and more.  That was such a strength for me when I was first getting into this, that I had so much more going on then just Pickup and my goals were the other stuff, and pickup fell in there somewhere.  In the last month or so, the other things fell by the wayside, and pickup became more important.  Which is a huge problem, and I’m changing, thankfully.