by Neil Strauss (aka Style)
by Mystery
by David DeidaI honestly am confused right now. I’m starting to feel a little bit down/depressed, but I’m kind of really ok with it, which is odd.
Last night I was supposed to go out sarging with Nonex or Stealth from SouthFlorida PLAY, but my phone died so I couldn’t get in contact with Stealth, and Nonex went out with his roommate to a latin dance club. I decided to head to a sports bar by my apartment to watch the Indianpolis Colts completely annihilate the New Orleans Saints.
This is actually a really big deal for me, because I never have been to a restaurant/bar by myself without the intention of meeting up with someone, and eating some food and just hanging out. I kept it in my head that I’m going to be totally relaxed, watch the game, not be concerned about what was going on at the bar, and if the opprotunity to open a set or two arose, then I would do it.
When I first got there, I was feeling uncomfortable. I just kept trying to keep calm body language, and just chill. Eventually I did, especially by using some David Deida breathing techniques to open up the core of your body.
I talked to a couple of girls that I had proximity for, and I opened a 4-set at a table, by saying, “are you guys REALLY interested in football? Or are you here just drinking?” I was sociable, funny, and friendly. But I dropped out of the set after talking for a little bit.
Actually, writing this and talking to Skywalker on AIM I made a really big realization, and it just TOTALLY pulled me out of my funk. I’m being way too focused on the fact that I’m not “hooking” a set or whatever. I’m really getting disappointed that things aren’t going further, and it’s totally not about that. It’s just a matter of improving and making things better.
Also, don’t worry about the results, have fun, have a good time. Just go out there, and do what you need too. I want to improve and I do want to become better, but the results aren’t what’s important. I think I was even starting to believe that there is something wrong with ME and that’s the worst attitude to have.
Here’s something that I’m starting to struggle with. When in a set I rarely talk about myself in a positive way. I am mainly joking and DLV’ing myself. But I’m realizing that I’m not conveying anything about myself. And I’m not sure if that’s good or not. I will search out answers.
Filed under: Field Report (Solo) | Tagged: attached to outcomes, conveying personality, David Deida, going out alone, have fun, Nonex, SouthFlorida PLAY, sports bar, Stealth
repost from PLAY
I dont talk about myself so much as what I FEEL (keyword) about things. In this way you are keeping things to mystery, while at the same time conveying personality. the way you deal with the wprld and interpret things is essentially all your personality is, a mechanical set of reactions to your environment.
if you are a well-adjusted well-rounded individual, this will be a positive, and as you convey that, she will naturally be attracted. this is IMHO the root of DHV. stories can relate that kind of thing, and they are necessary in early A2, especially in plural sets…but once youre in iso….stop the stories, start talking about your own subjects and seed your responses to the topics with emotion and response, your response. in this way, the girl can know you without you blabbing on about how great you are.
when you said i was natural at SOBE for the lair meet, this is what i was doing. its alpha really…”nothing matters but me, and i showing you how i mean that, because its not in a d**k way.”